I have come to realize there is much about myself that is indeed a mystery even to myself. So lately I have begun the the habit of staring into the void of myself for long periods of time. Dangerous work to do, however I have come to a stage in my life where not knowing is not something I like about myself. I am unfamiliar with lots of my own tendencies and have been searching my remembered past for instances that helped to shape who I currently am. This process is arduous and I would not recommend it for the feint of heart. Trying to discover what makes you up at your core is a process that I have only just began to delve into. The human condition, what aspects of myself are perceived as inherited, or are there in fact any inherited mannerisms. The question really is whether they were inherited genetically, or by proxy to others who display the same mannerisms.
My current trends of thought are that mannerisms are inherited but not genetically. I believe that all displays of emotion that you whiteness are somehow imprinted on you, and that the more you come in contact with the different mannerisms the more you are influenced by it. Maybe you notice how a person acts and it does not phase you, maybe you see something in a person that you like and you adapt yourself slightly to be more like them, even at a subconscious level. I think that there are too many factors within life to fully be able to understand yourself let alone the world. As a western society we have a fixed definition of time. However the very thought of time is in fact irrelevant. Time itself is meaningless, and our own concept of time only stems from our own internal "clock" as to how long we live. A mosquito's concept of time must in fact be quite different then our concepts of time. We live 80 of our own years, and I am sure the mosquito in it's own definition of time lives 80 of it's own years, although their lives are much shorter, so their concept of time is in fact shorter or smaller then ours. Or possibly because their own perceived life is so short their definition or thoughts on time could be much greater then our own.
So how do we determine time when it is such an abstract concept. We don't really determine time, we create mechanisms that keep 'time' but who determined what a second is or a minute or a year. We can't really it is impossible to really know how long time is. The very notion that we think we can predict and track time is completely ridiculous. According to my clock in my cave, it is 8pm. So what does this really mean? Nothing in fact, nothing at all, it is a predetermined measurement of time that says that at this point of the day when the sun is at its current angle and during this month it is in fact 8pm. Time is another structure of control, used to manipulate us into trying to regulate our lives with a pre-determined pattern. This is just my thoughts on the matter. Time is abstract, it is at least abstract to those of us with a definite life span. The only time we can experience is the experience we live, so why not make every experience in life matter. Why do people spend their lives working menial jobs they hate, when they should be attempting to create experiences they enjoy. The ultimate explanation is our perceived need for money. We 'need' money to live, we obtain money through tasks that are not meaningful. Money dictates the necessity for the control of time. Money is in fact the largest problem facing us today. Money is power, money is time, money is fictional, money is the grid, money is abstract, money is nothing. Money is a perception we have all been tricked into believing in. We have been fooled by time, money and power. We destroy our own life as well as the life of the planet in pursuit of understanding time and conquering money.
Why is the question? Always Why.
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